Libido 101: Understanding and Exploring our Sex Drive

Libido 101: Understanding and Exploring our Sex Drive

Is your sex drive in free fall, or has it gone through the roof? Or maybe it’s changing from one week to the next and you haven’t a clue why, what’s going on, or what you’re going to want on any given day. We get it – and we’re here to tell you’re not alone!

When it comes to our libidos (sexual desire), there really is no normal. Some of us are rampant rabbits; some of us would rather tend to ourselves; some of us are happy to be left alone, and a lot of us flit between all three at different times in our lives. Heck, we often flit between all three at different times in the month!

If you’re wondering what’s at play here, we’re going to look at the different factors that can impact your libido and explore ways to enhance sexual desire naturally.

Let’s get going!

Why does my sex drive change?

It’s totally normal for your libido to fluctuate. It’s also totally normal to wonder how to increase libido.

Low libido in women (and low libido in general) can be caused by a whole host of different factors – some physical, some hormonal, some emotional, some lifestyle. But if you want to work on kicking your sex drive back into first gear, it can be really useful to understand why it’s waned in the first place.

According to the Mayo Clinic[i], some of the most common causes of low libido in women include:

Hormonal changes

Changes in hormone levels can affect your libido in a BIG way. During perimenopause and menopause, our estrogen levels drop – decreasing our sex drives, and leading to vaginal dryness (which can make sex painful and uncomfortable). Hormones fluctuations during pregnancy, after childbirth, and during breastfeeding can also cause libido to drop.

Physical issues

There are lots of physical factors that can impact your libido. These include illnesses (like cancer, diabetes, and neurological diseases), taking prescription medication that can lower sex drive (such as

SSRIs), lifestyle habits (including drinking too much alcohol and regularly smoking), and fatigue or exhaustion.

Psychological causes

Our minds are incredibly powerful things, so it will likely come as no surprise that your libido is at the mercy of your mind. Factors such as anxiety and depression, stress and burnout, poor self-esteem and body image, trauma (such as a history of abuse), and negative sexual experiences in your past can all play a part.

Relationship issues

If you’re experiencing problems within your intimate relationships, it’s unlikely that your libido will be firing on all cylinders. An emotional connection is often crucial for sexual intimacy, so relationship issues will take their toll. If the sexual desire in your relationship has taken a nosedive, it could be down to an absence of connection, trust issues, unresolved fights, or poor communication of sexual desires.

How can I increase my libido?

If you’re looking for a way to give your sex drive a boost, try these out for size:

Eat your way to a higher libido

You might have heard the hype about oysters, but there’s no need to head to your local seafood restaurant in search of an aphrodisiac – because you can actually get a big ol’ libido boost from everyday foods like bananas, figs, avocados, and CHOCOLATE. Alternatively, many women claim that libido gummies work wonders on their sex drive.

natural libido boosting foods banana figs avocado and chocolate

Manage stress to boost your sex drive

You might not be able to eat your way to a higher sex drive if your lifestyle is working against you. Because stress and anxiety play their part in messing with your libido, alleviating these through practices like meditation and breathwork can help; as can reducing alcohol, and making sure you’re getting enough sleep.

Ease vaginal dryness with a vaginal moisturizer

Hormonal changes like perimenopause and the menopause often come with a side dose of vaginal dryness and irritation because of the drop in estrogen levels. And who wants sexual intimacy when your vagina is drier than the Nevada desert? Not us! A good quality vaginal moisturizer like AH! YES® VM can relieve the symptoms of vaginal dryness and itching in less than an hour – meaning you’ll be ready to go whenever YOU want to.

Make sex pleasurable again with a lube

When we’re sexually aroused, our vaginas produce a natural lubricant that makes sex more comfortable and enjoyable – but changes in our hormones (like those we experience in menopause or pregnancy) can lead to a lack of lubrication. This can make sex uncomfortable, painful, and something you stop craving (hence the low libido). If you’re no longer producing natural lubrication (or you want an extra dose of glide), explore our range of plant-based, certified organic, pH matched lubricants.

And if you’re not sure how to use them, we’ve got you covered.

organic oil based lubricant for libido

Making your vagina happy again

A healthy sex life is all about communication and exploration – but it’s incredibly important that you focus on the way you feel. If you don’t want sex, that’s YOUR prerogative. If masturbation isn’t for you, so be it. You should never feel pressured into doing anything you don’t want to do, or doing it more than you want to do it.

If, however, you’re lamenting the loss of your libido and feeling frustrated that your sex life isn’t making you happy, try out some of the tips in this blog. Incorporate some aphrodisiac foods into your diet, find the best ways to manage your stress levels, and arm yourself with products your vagina can trust  to have its best interests at heart.


[i] Low sex drive in women - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic